Part One

By Figgy

Email: tura14@hotmail.com

             Ruby yelled as the glow surrounded her and the others and she felt herself being wrenched in all directions at once. Then suddenly… She was lying face down in dirt and someone was nudging her with a foot. Ruby blinked and suddenly let out a joyful yelp, jumping to her feet. “I’M BIG! I’M BIG!” She hugged herself and the man who’d nudged her back away.
             “Crazy Injun.” Ruby blinked and stared at the man.
             “Injun?” Ruby’s eyes traveled down to her clothing and she rubbed her eyes. “Oh no! This isn’t home! NO!” She was wearing a lightly tanned deer skin dress, strange beads were in her black hair. “THIS ISN’T FAIR!”
 

             Quatre Winner jerked upward eyes wide and searching. “Dorothy? Dorothy!” But all he saw was a dirty tavern around him and a glass of beer in front of him. “What? Not again…” He sighed and stared at the yellow liquid and gasped. “It can’t be!” Quatre raised a trembling hand to his face and paled. He had a blond mustache and the start of stubble on his chin. “Aie!”
             “Sir! Sorry for being late, sir! Really, it wasn’t our fault sir!” Two ragged looking men pulled up chairs and sat at Quatre’s table. Both kept sending him nervous glances and he could nearly smell their fear.
             “Oh it’s quite alright.” Quatre said politely, wondering why they were scared. The two exchanged a look, then one slid him a sheet of paper.
             “Seems the sheriff’s got it out for ya. Raised the price.” One of the men said and Quatre stared at the paper and felt the blood rush from his face.
             He mouthed the words underneath his drawn picture, including the mustache, “Snake-Eyes Winner. Dangerous Criminal. Wanted for Horse thieving, train robbing, murder, among other things… Wanted: Dead or Alive… Reward: Fifteen thousand dollars.”
             “Sir, are you okay?”
             Quatre swallowed and for the first time ever, reached over, grabbed the beer mug by the handle and guzzled it down. ‘I’m a criminal! With a mustache! Dear god…’
 

             Relena yawned, eyes slowly opening. “Heero?” Then she frowned, she was still mad at him. “Nevermind!” She sat up and stared. “Where’d everyone go? Where am I?! Oh no! NO NO NO!” Relena screeched as she realized they’d just jumped to a new world. Then she turned bright red. “What am I wearing?!” Her eyes narrowed as she surveyed the clothes, “Or more like, what am I NOT wearing?!” Relena Peacecraft was dressed in a blue and black outfit that she vaguely recognized from some old movies. It was those short, low necked… Very low-necked. She paled. Dresses that those saloon girls would wear in old Westerns… She began to pale even more as she remembered what exactly some of those saloon girls did. “AH! AS WUFEI WOULD SAY, INJUSTICE!”
 

             “You alive?” A deep southern voice hovered above Heero and he blinked; then shot straight up. His eyes darted around and he felt his mouth slacken in disbelief… He was in a tavern… Like one of those old Western saloons, complete with those wooden blind doors. Heero ignored the cowboy talking to him, then jerked. ‘Cowboy?’
             “I’m going to kill you, Ravyn…” Heero stared at his hands which were resting on the bar and he turned to see an assortment of liquor behind him. He looked down at his clothes… He wore jeans, tall tan boots, and a blue jean shirt with a tan vest over it… A rifle lay near his feet.
             “Hey! Bartender, when’s that drink coming?” A loud voice shouted and Heero looked up. The cowboy was staring at him expectantly.
             “Bartender? Me?” Heero numbly turned, grabbed a mug, and looked around. He finally spotted a large barrel marked beer and pulled the tap, letting it flow into the mug. He handed it to the cowboy and stared as someone shouted a new order.    ‘What? I don’t even know what that is…’ Heero turned, reading the labels on the bottles and blinked as his foot sloshed in something. “What?” He looked down and saw beer forming a puddle around his feet… He hadn’t pushed the tap back… Heero felt a slow nervousness work its way through him. “Mission… Must Accomplish…” But he had a feeling this would only lead to failure.
 

             An umbrella fell to the ground and Jewel opened her eyes. She was standing, which was strange enough since she felt as if she’d just woken up. Jewel raised a hand to her head and stopped. ‘I wasn’t wearing a hat earlier…’ Jewel turned and saw she was standing in front of a shop window and stared at her reflection. ‘What strange clothes…’ Her clothes were similar to the nobles in her world, except the skirt wasn’t as full and she wore some strange hat. Jewel didn’t realize it was a bonnet.
             Jewel fingered one of the sleeves. It was expensive whatever this dress was, well cut and well made… An umbrella lay at her feet and she blinked as a gloved hand reached down and picked it up, handing it back to her.
             “You dropped this, Miss Jewel. Lovely weather we’re having today, isn’t it?” Jewel stared at the young man in shock as he talked.
             ‘Ravyn’s spell must not have worked the first time… I wonder where Trowa is… Oh my!’ Jewel’s eyes widened as the man kept rattling on about the lovely weather. She could sense people in the back of her head! ‘That ability must have been given to me and Foxy once we left with them… Good. I must find him.’
             “I’m awfully sorry, milord.” He looked like a noble to her. “But I must be going.”
             He blinked at the milord, then tipped his hat at her. “It’s quite alright, Miss Jewel. Good day.”
             Jewel tilted her head as he walked off; “I wonder why he called me miss…”
 

             Wufei yawned and opened his eyes, only to find something was blocking his sight. He reached up and removed the cowboy hat and stared at it. “What the?” He was leaning back in a wooden chair; booted feet propped up on a desk in front of him. “My clothes!” Wufei’s feet hit the floor with a bang as he stared at his white shirt, blue jeans, white boots and hat. His gaze dropped to the two guns holstered in his belt. But what really caught his attention as he gazed into the mirror was the bright shiny star pinned to his shirt…. The star that read Sheriff. A strange grin curled up on Wufei’s lips; “Justice will be served!”
             His attention was dragged away from the mirror as a loud snore broke through his thoughts of justice. He turned and stared at the sleeping form in the desk next to his. The boy was tall, a cowboy hat sat on his desk, and wore a green button down shirt and jeans and Wufei spotted a star on his shirt that read Deputy. He walked over and shook him awake. “Come on Trowa. Justice must be served!”
             Trowa opened his eyes and stared at the sight before him. Calmly he spoke, “So… I’m guessing the spell didn’t work…”
             “Right! Now come Deputy! We are justice!” Wufei started bouncing around the small room, ignoring the looks some of the prisoners in the cells were giving him.
             Trowa raised an eyebrow, “Yeah… Wufei, we have to find the others…”
             Wufei pouted, “No justice?”
             “No justice.”
             “It’s not fair!”
 

             Hilde blew smoke from her steaming gun and jerked. “Huh? What?”
             “It’s Lightning Hilde! Run fer the hills!” Someone yelled and quite a few men bolted from the tavern. She blinked as they passed her by… ‘When did I shoot? What happened?’ Hilde walked inside, noticing the wary looks some were giving her. ‘Last thing I remember was the glow… And now…’ She walked over to the bar, stunned as she took in her surroundings and clothing… She was dressed like a cowboy… Except it was suited for her as a girl… And she holstered the gun, noticing she had two…
             “Mission failure.” A voice spoke mournfully and she blinked, seeing that in one of the barrels of beer a hole shown, letting beer flow out… Her bullet had hit it.
             “Oopsie… Sorry about that… Wait…” She blinked as the bartender raised his head from cleaning the beer up and their eyes met. “Mission failure? Heero?!”
             His eyes narrowed, “Hilde? Hilde! You shot my beer! Argh!” He suddenly jerked out a rifle and she paled.
             “Hey! Heero! It was an accident! I don’t know how it happened! Eek! I’m your friend!” Hilde raised her hands in front of herself and slowly he lowered the rifle.
             “Oh fine…” He stared at the leaking beer and sniffed. “Mission failure… Just keep failing…” He walked over to the bar and Hilde couldn’t keep the grin off her face as she took in his outfit.
             “Well, look at the bright side Heero!” She chirped, “Ya look sexy in those clothes!” Heero paled and began wondering if Foxy had rubbed off on her.
 

             Foxy shook her tails, then stopped… “It’s not possible…Oh no!” She turned her head and stared at her tail-less backside. “NO TAILS!!” Her hands reached up and grabbed normal human ears. “MY EARS! Oh! I’m HUMAN! NOT FAIR! RAVYN DIDN’T SAY THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I’LL KILL HIM! I’LL—wait…” Foxy looked around the plain bedroom, “Where am I?” She stared down at her clothes, “Black? I don’t wear black!”
             “Sister, are you okay?” Somebody questioned from behind the door and Foxy froze.
             “Sister? I’m a sister?” She opened the door and grinned at the man before her. “Hey! Duo wears clothes like that!” She pointed at his outfit and giggled, “Got the collar and everything! I’m a sister! That’s cool! What’s your name?”
             He stared at her as if she’d gone mad, “I’m Father Wimble… Sister, are you feeling okay?”
             “Father? But if I’m your sister then you must mean brother, not father!”
             Father Wimble leaned forward, his eyes surveying her. “You must have caught something, Sister. I shall pray for you. Get plenty of rest while I send someone for the doctor.”
             Foxy wasn’t completely stupid… Something didn’t click here… “Wait… Father as in what? What are you?”
             “I’m a priest, my dear… As you are a nun.”
             Foxy’s eyes widened in pure fright and she clutched at her heart, “A n-n-n-n NUN? Me?! Oh no! Me, a nun!? Ah!” Her eyes rolled upward and Foxy slumped forward, forcing the priest to catch her as she fainted.
 

             “Dorothy! Dorothy, wake up! It’s your turn at the tables!” A girl shook Dorothy awake and she blinked sleepily.
             “Oh… Quatre?” Dorothy stood up and looked around. “Huh?” She saw a girl walk out of the room and followed her, noticing her lack of clothing. She wore a black and red costume similar to Relena’s, except with black gloves… She followed the girl down some stairs and stared at the scene awaiting her… There were men everywhere and all of them, it seemed, were playing some sort of card games and junk… Gamboling… Dorothy raised an eyebrow. ‘Something must have happened… We’re in a different world… I must find the others.’ She started to push her way through the men, but somebody grabbed her around the waist and she was pulled onto some cowboy’s lap.
             “Let go of me!” She swung a fist at him, but he somehow managed to block it.
             “Yer a feisty one!” His friends laughed and he held on tighter. “Come on, gimme a little kiss!”
             She glared, “I’m warning you to let go or else.”
             “Or else what?”
             Dorothy smirked, “You asked for it.” She reached over and grabbed one of his friends’ mugs of beer and poured it over his head, then used it to conk him a few times. He let her go and she smiled snidely at him. “You’re worse than Daniel.”
             “Dorothy! Get over here!” Someone yelled and she turned and saw a girl motioning for her to come to one of the card tables.
             “Huh?!”
             “It’s your time to deal.” The girl handed her a deck of cards then left Dorothy. Dorothy stared at the cards.
             “But… I don’t know how…” Dorothy paled, “How am I going to pull this?!”
 

             Duo Maxwell stretched, then went shock still as somebody kissed him. “You really do deserve your reputation, Mr. Maxwell.” A woman whispered, then slipped out of his room. Duo’s eyes jerked open, “What the hell!?” He jumped up, then blushed as he realized he was naked and yanked a sheet off the bed to cover himself. “Oh man, oh man, oh man! Not again! Another world! And this time Hilde’s gonna kill me!” Then Duo’s familiar grin appeared and he chuckled slightly as he stared at his reflection. “Heehee, no woman can resist the ole Duo Maxwell charm, no matter what dimension!” He winked at his reflection, then started pulling on clothes… Which he noticed fit a strange Western theme… “Man,” he whined, “I want MY clothes!”
 
 

Ok, that's it for now...Not as funny as Medieval Mishap,but still I think it'll get there ^_^ like? dislike? hate? Oh and incase ya got confused here's the listing for their new positions!!!

Heero Yuy – Bartender
Relena Peacecraft – Saloon girl (Woo-boy! I’m not sure who will kill me first; Heero or Relena)
Quatre Winner – Snake-Eyes Winner (your typical evil western dude… QUATRE?!)
Dorothy Catalonia – Casino girl, Blackjack dealer
Hilde Schbeicker – Lightning Hilde (a female gun shooter)
Duo Maxwell – Duo ‘Smooth’ Maxwell (a ladies' man Muse: big change ~sarcasm~ Figgy: oh shut up)
Trowa Barton – Deputy
Chang Wufei – Sheriff
Ruby Lorenzo – Indian
Jewel – Miss Jewel (Wealthy aristocrat)
Foxy – Nun (heehee Poor Foxy!)