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Chapter 1
By Sulia Serafine
Email: Silverwlng@aol.com
[Author’s ramblings: A semi- romantic comedy/adventure of Gundam Wing.
Additional note: this may also fall under Alternate Universe Category. I’m screwing around the episode plot. That’s all. Standard Disclaimer!!! I don’t own Gundam Wing (darn it) and I’m not making money. Don’t sue! It’s all for fun!
Send criticism to me at Silverwlng@aol.com]
Heero looked up from where he was working in the cockpit of Wing Zero. He sent telepathic missiles with his glare at a young man with a brown braid trailing down his back. "Duo."
Duo stopped singing from where he was near the radio in the warehouse and grinned. "Yeah, man?"
"I need to focus."
Duo blinked. "So?"
Wufei picked up a tiny bag of white chalk from where he was on the catwalk above and dropped it so it hit Duo on the head. Duo let out a "yow!" as he shook his head, sending the white chalk all through the air. He coughed and fanned the chalk particles away.
"He meant, shut up, Maxwell. That singing of yours could wake the dead."
Duo stuck his tongue out at him, but instantly regretted it as some chalk in the air got in his mouth. He coughed and spit. "Ugh! Thanks a lot, Wufei!"
Quatre frowned from where he sat with one of the technicians. "Wufei, that wasn’t nice."
"He deserved it," Wufei shrugged. "I will leave him alone now that he has stopped that infernal racket. Justice is served."
Duo scoffed. "Oh yeah, his crazy ideals about ‘justice’."
"You dare scoff at me?" Wufei shouted from the catwalk. Quatre sighed.
"Please, don’t!" He waved his arms at them both. "I’m sure both of you are sorry. Let’s just get back to work on repairing our Gundams. Duo, you said you would be ready to go on the trip with the Sweepers as soon as they got out here."
"What about the rest of us?" Wufei called down. He crossed to another catwalk and began climbing down a metal ladder.
"Trowa is still at L2 Colony. He was helping them with their new system now that the war’s over," Heero said as he calmly slid back into his cockpit.
"What was he doing at L2?" Duo asked. He had found a bottle of water and was now resorting to dumping it over his head to clean it of the white powdery substance. Wufei smirked.
"The circus was still there. When he’s done, he’s accompanying them back to Earth and he’ll be working with us again."
Quatre smiled. "That’s great!"
Heero continued. "Quatre, they have arrangements for you in South America. The government requested some help from Relena when she was out there a week ago. I told her you would take the job for a month."
Duo wrung out his hair and chuckled. "Hmm… You spoke to her yet you didn’t try to kill her… why, Heero, I’m disappointed in you!"
Heero snorted. He finished up his work in the cockpit and got out. He took one last sweeping look at his Gundam and jumped down to the warehouse floor. Wufei and Quatre soon arrived at the floor as well.
"That was because she interfered with the mission. There’s nothing to it now."
Quatre put his hands in his pants pocket. "Heero, she is cute."
The three other pilots all exchanged glances and grinned.
Heero blinked. "Very funny. Did you remember Hilde and Sally? And perhaps D-"
"Women! They’re so weak. I’d never. Not after the experiences of my last arranged marriage. Hmph!" Wufei snorted as he began walking out of the warehouse. Duo followed his lead.
"Hilde? She wants commitment! Are you kidding? I’m gonna play the field a few times over before I’m chained down!" Duo grinned. Quatre shyly blushed and followed them out. Heero let out a sigh and walked after them.
"Hey boys!" Howard called as he strode over in his tropical shirt.
"Hey, Howard! What’s up?" Duo greeted.
"Zechs is getting married to Noin is what’s up!"
Quatre and Duo both burst out into grins. "Really, Howard? Man, that sounds great!"
"Yeah," Quatre beamed. "When’s the wedding?"
"At the end of the week in Paris where Miss Relena is right now."
"That reminds me. Wufei, you and I are posted as temporary bodyguards for the group of diplomats that Relena is in."
"And this is all coincidence?" Wufei raised one eyebrow, eyeing Heero suspiciously.
"Why do you all think that way?" Heero asked, exasperated.
"Because you’re so impassive, you don’t care most of the time, and you’re an easy target," Duo replied shamelessly. "Now about the wedding! Noin picked cute bridesmaids, right?"
Howard shrugged. "How should I know? I won’t be able to make it to the wedding. Go find the happy couple. They’re around the city somewhere."
The pilots bid Howard goodbye and returned to their barracks. Duo started singing on the way. Quatre tried to hold them back, but both Heero and Wufei felt they had to do something to stop the terrible sound. In the end, Quatre stood beside Duo as he bent over a water fountain and tried to wash out his hair again.
Heero nudged Wufei. "Where did you get that chalk stuff?"
"The construction crews use it for marking stuff and they leave it lying around everywhere. It’s not supposed to come off so easily."
"I’ll say!" Duo muttered as he wrung out his braid again.
Back at the barracks, the four pilots settled down to dinner. Duo wore his hat, but the rest of them could still see chalk colored bangs poking from beneath the hat. Quatre sighed and ate his dinner quietly. On the other hand, Heero was staring at the computer coding on his laptop that was settled beside his plate. Wufei was reading a book titled "Justice and Power". And Duo was muttering about his hair, pushing his food around with a fork, and casting evil glances at Heero and Wufei.
The phone rang. Quatre got up to get it. A familiar face appeared on the screen.
"Trowa! It’s so good to see you, my friend!"
"Hello, Quatre."
"How is everyone? Is Catherine with you?"
"Yes. I’m just reporting to say I will be back before you know it."
While they had been talking, Duo had started to flick peas towards his fellow pilots. Most had missed because chalky hair kept blocking his vision, but a few peas had hit Heero’s plate. Heero had ignored it because he was still staring at his laptop computer. Then, he tried flicking peas at Wufei.
"Stop it," Wufei said icily.
"Oh yeah? Why don’t you make me? Come on… I bet you couldn’t even beat a Leo pilot if you had a slingshot and all the peas you wanted!" He sneered.
"…What?"
"I don’t know. It didn’t make sense to me either," Duo shrugged, then became serious again. "So, what’s it gonna be?"
"Flicking peas is a waste of food," Heero said without tearing his gaze away from the screen.
"Well, throwing discarded chalk is a waste of…"
"…Discarded chalk?" Wufei finished. "Oh what the hell. These peas were not fit to eat anyway. They’re as tough as iron ball bearings." He picked up his spoon and flicked a few toward Duo, who flicked some right back.
"Hey!" Duo protested as he got hit right between the eyes with a pea that was passing the speed limit. He plunged his spoon into the mashed potatoes and took careful aim.
Wufei saw him in time and reached for the mashed potatoes on Heero’s plate. He paused. "Requesting permission to use the mashed potatoes."
"If I get hit, you both die a terrible, R-rated death," Heero stated simply, never looking away from the screen. "Otherwise, take the food."
Wufei nodded and took a scoop as soon as Duo launched his first big attack. It hit Wufei in the center of his chest. "Why you…"
"Ha! Take that, Mr. Almighty Justice!" Duo grinned in confidence of himself.
"Don’t get too cocky!" Wufei threatened as he added a barrage of peas to his own attack.
"What? HEY!" Duo frowned as his braid had somehow gotten hit by mashed potatoes.
Quatre frowned. "Hold on for a second, would you Trowa?"
"Sure."
He leaned out the doorway of the kitchen and looked into the general living room. A big mess of coleslaw hit him in the face. He wiped it away calmly and sighed.
"Sorry, Quatre," Duo and Wufei chorused as they finished their food fight. Alas, there was no more food. Heero remained unmoved and untouched as he sat with one hand darting around the keys and another holding a glass of water.
Quatre returned to Trowa and saw his mild surprise. "As you can see-"
"I can see I should be glad to be away from home. I must go now, Quatre. Please tell the others I said hello and that I will be home shortly." The impassive expression never wavered as the line disconnected.
Trowa stood up just as Catherine came in.
"Hey Trowa. Are you ready to go? The shuttle will be leaving soon. I know how much you want to get back to your friends," she smiled.
"Of course. Let’s go, Catherine," he nodded.
A few hours later, Trowa was on the shuttle sitting beside Catherine. He stared out the window, feeling as if something strange had happened and that he should have known about it.
"Catherine."
"Yes?"
"Who are those men over there? This whole shuttle is filled with everyone from the circus. I don’t remember them."
"Oh, we picked them up at L2. They’re some new clowns, so you don’t have to stand in getting hit by pies. Besides, getting knives thrown at you is enough, right?" She giggled and patted him on the back of his hand.
"What are their names?"
"They call themselves The Jokesters. I think it suits them. Look at them right now! They look so mischievous and they aren’t even in costume. I’m sure they’ll come to be apart of this great big family as you did." She smiled fondly at him, then yawned.
"Get some sleep, Catherine."
"Thanks Trowa. I will." She nodded and settled into a more comfortable position in the chair.
Trowa watched her for awhile, then turned back his attention to the men in the seats ahead of him. They were all young men- perhaps 30 at the oldest- and all were laughing and joking among themselves as if they were playing a prank and were plotting the very thing.
"I don’t trust them," he thought to himself. He would keep an eye out for them.
"Excuse me, sir?" a stewardess looked down at him.
"Would you like something to eat? The men over there have treated all the passengers to a piece of lemon meringue pie in celebration of their joining the circus."
"They did?" Trowa thought. He thought for a moment and nodded. They were just jokesters. The stewardess set down a small plate the pie that was covered with an extra dose of whip cream.
"Hey!"
Trowa looked up in time to see the Ringmaster start laughing his head off as a spring burst forth from the pie and threw cream in his face. Trowa frowned.
He raised his hand. "Stewardess-"
He put down his hand as his face was suddenly covered with whip cream. "Well," he thought to himself. "At least it’s better than coleslaw and throwing knives."
Ellis monitored the transmissions from the radio waves constantly going back and forth from the colonies to Earth. She learned of the level that the Earth civilization was at and made sure that most of her weapons fit that description. If anyone on earth were to find any evidence of a new technology- especially a weapons technology- it could spell disaster.
"I can’t believe we’re doing this," Fitz grumbled. "We should wait for His Majesty’s approval. Or at least have come with a small fleet of--"
"Shut up, Ten. It’s hard to believe you are Ten." Ellis glared at him.
"Hmph. So where do you suppose the Jokers will attempt to enter Earth’s atmosphere?"
"I don’t believe they’ll just enter. They’ll find a normal way to enter as Earthlings do or something. Doesn’t this civilization have common transportation like that?"
"They have regularly scheduled transportation like that, but it is not common to them," Fitz replied as he watched the main screen in their tiny vessel.
She nodded. "The disguise of a falling meteor seems to have been done in the past. I read from transmissions that anything of a small ship’s mass is to be monitored as it enters Earth’s atmosphere. They are that smart, I suppose."
"How will we enter?"
"As a meteor, of course… unless you want to sneak upon a civilian transportation vessel? Come now, it won’t be that bad. We can cover our tracks even if we are monitored during entry. That’s what we’re good at. Unlike the Jokers."
"Alright. But I’m taking control of the atmosphere entry procedures. You just worry yourself about what you are going to do with the Jokers once we get our hands on ‘em," Fitz warned and turned around in his chair to see the image of Earth on their screen. A shuttle was in the process of entering Earth’s atmosphere at that very moment. Fitz studied it for a second, and then spoke.
"Should I follow that one perhaps?"
Ellis looked at the screen. "What makes you think it is worth following, Ten?"
"It just came from L2, the colony we observed the Jokers stealth ship head towards."
"What do you think we should do? You said you would take care of our entry."
"We’ll enter a few hundred kilometers away, but once we’re in the atmosphere, we track them down and make observations on the passengers of the vessel. If that is alright with you, Ace."
"Proceed."
Saturday, April 4
"The wedding was absolutely beautiful," Relena told Lucrecia as her new sister-in-law and brother headed out of the church toward the banquet hall. She held the trailing skirts carefully in her hands and admired the soft white satin. Her brother couldn’t stop smiling. She couldn’t blame him. Zechs had come back months after that last battle and spent his post-war trauma days with Noin, finally asking her to marry him. She didn’t even pause in her response.
"I can’t believe we did it, Zechs. We got married," Lucrecia said wistfully, smoothing down her lace veil against her short black hair. She took in the deep scent of the white roses she held and sighed.
"HEY!" Duo called out as he enthusiastically caught up with them. "Congratulations! I’m so happy for the both of you!"
"Maxwell! Watch who you bump into, hmm?" Dorothy Catalonia lectured. She straightened her floppy white hat with an arrangement of yellow flowers on it.
"Sorry, Dorothy! Where’s Lady Une? I thought you were her aide nowadays," Duo said as he started to slow his pace.
"She didn’t want to come, but made me go without her. She’s still a little upset over Mr. Treize and does not like to be reminded of couples," Dorothy said matter-of-factly and lifted up her chin in an air of indifference.
"Jeez," Duo muttered and slowly inched apart from her. He waved to Relena and fell behind them, waiting for his companions. He looked back at the small procession and saw Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and Heero walking calmly a few yards back. Zechs and Lucrecia had reached the banquet hall now and were busy saying hello to people and receiving congratulations from everyone as they entered and sat down.
"Guys! Over here! We got a reserved table! Just us pilots," he called.
"Hello, Duo!" Hilde said as she sneaked up on him.
"Whoa!" Duo jumped up. "Hilde? Don’t surprise me like that!"
Hilde giggled. "I just wanted to say hi. Are you doing anything after the weekend?"
He stuttered. "Uh… I just might… I have a trip with the Sweepers soon… heheh… I’m really, really sorry Hilde. Maybe, uh, next time?"
"Oh," she frowned. "It’s okay, if you’re busy. I’ll talk to you later, Duo!" She suddenly smiled and pranced off. He let out a sigh of relief.
"Still avoiding her?" Wufei said as the rest of the pilots made their way to their table and sat down.
"Yeah. I can’t help it! She’s so… so… hard to talk to. How can I tell her that I want to go with other chicks?"
"You say, ‘Hilde, I want to go with other chicks’, just like you probably would say," Dorothy said as she walked by, seating herself at the table next to theirs. "Maxwell, you are so hopeless."
"Did I ask for your opinion?" he retorted.
"No, but you desperately need it." She smirked.
"Hello, Dorothy," Quatre sighed. "How are you doing?"
"Very well, Mr. Winner. And the rest of you pilots?"
"Well enough, thank you Dorothy," Quatre answered for everyone, still keeping a suspicious, weary eye out for her. She had nearly killed him in space, after all, and he couldn’t forget it, even if he was the nicest person in the world.
"Attention everyone," Zechs announced while tapping his champagne glass with a fork. The banquet hall became quiet. "I’d like to thank you all for celebrating our marriage with us. This is the happiest day of our lives and we appreciate your shows of affection and congratulation. And now, some speeches from my Best Man, Aaron, and the Maid of Honor, my sister Relena."
Aaron, a man who had recently became Zech’s first officer and pleasant friend, stood up, bowed before everyone and made his speech. Relena sat beside him and waved to the pilots before recomposing herself and acting dignified in front of a large crowd of diplomats as well as friends.
After their speeches, the banquet hall became of place of merriment. Relena managed to dodge Dorothy, who obviously wanted to have a conversation with her, and arrived at a place near the wedding cake. Trowa saw that she was alone and walked over.
"How are you, Relena?" he asked.
"Fine, thanks Trowa. Isn’t this a great wedding?"
"Magnificent. I’m glad you decided to stay near the cake. I must also stay near it."
"Why is that?"
"I’m afraid Duo might try to take revenge on Heero and Wufei."
"What?"
"Nothing. So, what have you been doing lately?"
"I’m staying in Paris and trying to get some new benefits for the people here concerning welfare. The peace has held better than I expected, to be truthful," she explained. "How are the rest of the guys? Are you all bored and restless now that the fighting is over?"
"I’m sure that Duo is restless. He has all that energy that he uses to sing now. Quatre is content with peace, and Wufei and Heero will be your temporary bodyguards, I heard."
"Yes," she nodded. "You know, I’ve never heard you talk so much before."
"I have found myself at much more ease with the fighting over. Catherine has encouraged me to talk more." He was handed a small serving of cake. Lucrecia and Zechs had already cut the cake. "This cake is very delicious. Compliments to the chef."
Relena agreed as she began eating her own piece of cake. She couldn’t help but glance across the room where Heero and Wufei were in a polite conversation with some Parisian democrats. Duo and Dorothy had gotten into an argument and Quatre was mediator. Hilde was on the other side of the room talking to Sally Po.
"Look at that. Everything is going smoothly, and everyone- well, almost everyone- is enjoying themselves." She smiled and ate some more cake. Trowa cleared his throat.
"Is that Aaron fellow a good friend of yours?"
"Well, no, not really. He’s been making passes at me ever since he got promoted and started following my brother around. Why?"
"He’s coming this way, probably with intentions of making ‘passes’ at you."
"Oh, no," she groaned and put her cake down on a table. "I’m sorry to leave you here, Trowa, but now I must dodge him and Dorothy!" She rushed away, trying to slip into the crowd without being unladylike. Trowa chuckled a little and resumed eating his cake.
A man with sandy blond hair wearing a tuxedo and carrying a briefcase stepped into the room. He fiddled with his bow tie for a moment before blending into the crowd. Trowa frowned. He could have sworn the man was one of the Jokesters from the circus.
"What is he doing here?" he thought to himself and began to put his cake down when Duo suddenly rushed over and snatched it from his hands. Dorothy let out a little outraged squeal before Quatre could race over and stop him.
"Duo! Honestly, don’t do this! Behave! Zechs will kill you if you ruin this banquet!"
Duo seemed to calm down after that. He glared at Dorothy, who glared right back at him. Trowa rolled his eyes. He walked past them and toward the Parisian democrats where he had last seen Heero and Wufei. The two had left the older group of men and were hanging out by the window.
"Hey, guys," he said as he finally reached them.
"Hey Trowa. Is Duo still trying to get his hands on some cake to throw at Dorothy?" Wufei asked while smirking.
"Quatre calmed him down. Hey, did either of you notice a man with a briefcase enter the room? He slipped into the crowd of people in the center of the room and I can’t find him."
"Actually, no. We just escaped the conversation we had with them," Heero pointed to the Parisian democrats. "Feeling suspicious? Do you have good reason?"
"It’s just that the man is from my circus. He’s new. I have no idea of why he would be here."
"Maybe you should go ask him right now."
"If I can find him," Trowa added. "Oh, and don’t forget to do your job."
"What job?" Wufei asked.
"You’re Relena’s bodyguards, right? She has been spending the last hour dodging the unwanted Aaron and the desperate-to-talk-anyone Dorothy. Dorothy already left Duo in a fit. I’d say Relena needs rescuing."
"Where is she?" Heero asked, his eyes scanning the room.
"The center of the room somewhere."
"I’ll find her. Come along, Trowa. You can look for your circus friend. Coming Wufei?"
"No thanks. I think I’ll go talk to Duo and see if I can provoke him into picking up another piece of food to throw."
"You shouldn’t," Heero said. "This is a wedding banquet."
"I know. We’ll take it outside, and Quatre won’t stop us again." He flashed a mischievous grin and sauntered over to the table with the cake on it. That left Heero and Trowa to scan the crowd.
"I think I see her," Heero said.
"Where?"
"A few feet from the door. Aaron is right in front of her with his back turned and she’s trying to figure out how to leave the room without being noticed. I’ll get her. You go find that guy." He left Trowa and made his way to the other side of the throng.
Heero quickly found her. He was sure Aaron didn’t know who he was, and calmly passed him without producing a glance from his obstacle. Relena looked up and let out a small sigh of relief. Heero stepped in between her and Aaron, blocking her from him.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Relena whispered over and over again as Aaron turned around slightly.
Heero nodded. "How long have you been in this position?"
"Quite a while now," she pouted. She fought hard not to blush at having Heero help her. He was still clueless to all she did to hint she liked him. She herself was getting tired of having to hint. Relena decided to just let her self relax for one time with him and worry about being nervous with him later. After all, Dorothy was in search of someone who would be too polite to turn down conversation with her and Quatre was not an option. In reality, Quatre was guarding the wedding cake with his life as Wufei and Duo now got in an argument.
"Hmm," they heard Aaron say. "I wonder where she is." He turned all the way around so he faced Heero’s backside. Heero suddenly stepped forward and leaned over Relena, pretending to be in a private conversation. Aaron failed to see her past him and left to another part of the room.
Heero withdrew. "I’ll stay beside you until the banquet’s over."
"Really, Heero?" She smiled a little.
"It’s my job to guard you and the rest of the diplomats, isn’t it?"
"Yes. Thanks. Say, Heero, what are you doing tonight?"
"Reviewing the grounds of the embassy you are staying at. Why?"
"I’m attending another gathering of the Governor of Paris’s and Aaron is supposed to escort me. Zechs demanded it. I love my brother dearly, but…" she trailed off.
"I see. It was to be Wufei’s turn to watch over you, but I will go. I don’t like Aaron either and I’ve only known him for a few minutes." He glanced behind him where Aaron had returned to Zech’s side.
"AH!"
They immediately turned to the source of noise.
Duo gasped at the white frosting covering his tuxedo jacket. Wufei held up his hands defensively.
"Don’t look at me! I was right beside Quatre!"
"Dorothy!" Duo yelled. Dorothy stuck out her tongue from where she was seated across the room.
"I didn’t! I’ve been here the whole time, Maxwell, so there!"
"Would you please calm down!" Zechs shouted from the head table. Lucrecia was laughing instead of being angry with them.
"Man…"
"Here Duo! Let me help you," Hilde offered as she crossed to the table.
"No! No thanks! I got it!" He backed away and made a break for the door, leaving a perplexed Hilde to stand with a handkerchief in one raised hand.
Trowa joined Heero and Relena. "The Jokester. He was near the cake and found it funny to nail Duo with the frosting. I know it. But… the briefcase he was holding is not with him anymore."
"Briefcase," Heero repeated quietly. "Don’t take your eyes of that man, Trowa."
"Right."
Wufei walked over. "Is something wrong? I know that look, Yuy."
"Is something wrong, Heero?" Relena asked.
"I’m not sure," he replied.
Wufei suddenly noticed something in the corner of his eye. He turned to see the door. A young woman their age with blond hair in a strange style entered the room. Her bangs were long and wild. They framed her face, while some bangs were cut from her longer hair to hang behind her ears. A thin ponytail trailed down her back. She wasn’t even dressed up as any of the other guests of the wedding were. Her shirt was deep red with a black jacket and gray pants with strange pockets lining the sides. There was a repeating pattern of black spades all over her jacket cuffs.
"Look," he whispered to Heero.
"Who is that?"
"I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out."
Ellis suddenly turned and saw them. She grimaced. She was definitely not blending in. How was she to know that the Joker was at a wedding? "Maybe it isn’t too late to get out of here and lose the unwanted attention," she thought to herself.
"Excuse me," Quatre said as he called to her from the cake table. Her eyes widened.
"This is a private banquet!" he called, but Ellis had already ran for the door and got out. Wufei instinctively ran after her, bumping into people as he flung open the door and ran after her. Heero and Quatre followed to the door and looked out.
"Quatre, make sure Zechs and Noin don’t know what happened. They should enjoy their wedding day."
"What are we going to do? It was just a mistake of hers, wasn’t it?" Quatre looked doubtful.
"I don’t know. Trowa!" Heero called.
Trowa came over. "He’s gone. I can’t find him or the briefcase. But guess what I did find."
"What?" Relena asked as she came into the conversation. She just wasn’t about to be left out of the mysterious situation.
"A playing card. In fact, it was a Joker."