Chapter 5

By Sulia Serafine

Email: Silverwlng@aol.com

[Author's ramblings: A semi-romantic comedy/ adventure of Gundam Wing.
Additional note: this may also fall under Alternate Universe Category. I'm screwing around the episode plot. That's all. Standard Disclaimer!!! I don't own Gundam Wing (darn it) and I'm not making money.
Don't sue! It's all for fun!
Send criticism to me at Silverwlng @aol.com
Warning: Very slight cursing. Just had to do it for character.]

Duo stared at the hand held mirror while sitting in the back seat of his car. Jean Dunois stared back at him. This time, Duo was wearing white dress shirt with ironed black slacks and loafers. He looked at his watch. He had to get to the embassy and find Relena. Everything was going to fall perfectly into place. 'Jean' would take Relena out for a walk around the embassy, Heero would see 'Jean' taking advantage of her, and Heero would rescue her once again. Then, 'Jean' would challenge Heero in such a way that Heero had to admit his true feelings for Relena.

"This is such a stupid idea."

His car phone rang. He answered it but didn't speak.

"Duo? It's me, Relena."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, hey Relena. How has your morning been?"

"I picked a fight with my secretary without meaning to and now she's hiding under her desk," Relena groaned. "And to top that off, I've been in such a hair-trigger mood that I didn't say goodbye to my brother and Noin when Trowa came to escort them to the plane, I've alienated myself from the rest of the Sanc Kingdom representatives, and I thought about shooting my chauffeur! Heero is around the embassy somewhere. He's checking the security cameras. Duo, do something!"

"I know you're not going to like this idea one bit, but..."

Quatre ate his glazed donuts quietly. Fitz sat across from him, still holding his gun, but examining the food carefully. Dorothy rolled her eyes and stabbed at her hard-boiled eggs with a fork.

"It won't bite you. Go ahead and eat the stupid donuts," Dorothy yawned.

Fitz glared at her before picking one up and slowly starting to nibble on it. Quatre leaned back in his chair.

"So what happens now?"

"We have to find the Jokers. Ace can take care of herself. If I stop the Jokers' operations, then I can become the hero." Fitz smiled dangerously.

"See Quatre?" Dorothy pointed to Fitz. "Why don't you have the same tenacity towards becoming #1 as him? Honestly, at least we're getting somewhere now."

"Dorothy, I don't mind helping you because it's helping you, but I don't want to become #1. " He looked at his watch. "I'm going to call the guys back at the hotel. Maybe Ace told them something." He looked at Fitz. "Are you sure now that you don't want to talk to Ace anymore?"

Fitz shrugged. "I've had a change of mind. I said Ace could take care of herself. I never liked her anyway, so I don't care if she fails her mission."

"What about you?"

"I was forced into this. I wanted to wait for back-up, but over-confident Ace said 'no'."

Quatre shook his head and got up to call the hotel. No one answered. "That's strange. Well, I guess they all went out to work."

Dorothy turned on the television. On the news, the graffiti wall that was shown earlier was on the screen. Two more reporters stood under it.

" 'Well, Donny, this same message has appeared all around New England. Spokespersons from the FBI have no comment... Back to you, Donny.' "

Fitz stared at the screen. "Where is that?"

"America," Dorothy answered.

"I want to go there. Now."

Dorothy looked up at Quatre. "What do you think?"

"I'm going to call Duo's car phone, then I'm going to call the embassy."

He went to the phone again. Fitz stood up. "We're going to America."

"Are you sure?" Dorothy asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Don't tell Ace anything besides the fact that I'm not going to stay in Paris anymore."

She nodded, snickering. "Whatever you command, Ten."

Quatre listened to them talk as he waited for Duo to pick up the phone. "Duo!"

"Huh? Quatre?" Duo's voice sounded surprised. "Man? What is it?"

"I'm going to America."

"What? Hey! So am I!"

"Really?"

"Er..."

"Now Duo..."

"Okay, okay! No. I lied to everyone else. I'm really staying in France under another name because I have other business to attend to, if you get my drift."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Heero and Relena, would it?"

"No way! Where did you get that idea?"

"Never mind. I have to go. Take care, Duo, and please don't screw anything up with those two."

"I won't!" He hung up. Quatre came back to the table.

"Have we decided what we're going to do?"

"Yes. The United States is where I want to go," Fitz repeated. He put a finger on the trigger. "Unless one of you want to stop me."

Dorothy shook her head. "We want to go with you. You're still a stranger to the Earth, you know. You'll need our help in New England. Hey, Quatre, don't forget to call the embassy."

"Right." He went back and called Heero.

"Yes?"

"Heero, I'm leaving for America with Duo. Something came up. But..." his voice dropped to a whisper. "Did you know Ace had a partner?"

"Yes, she told us everything this morning."

Quatre frowned. "Oh. Well, um, he won't be staying in Paris anymore."

"What? Quatre, is he with you right now? No, you get him on the phone right now." Heero's expression suddenly became serious and aggressive.

"I can't! I have to go. I'm sorry Heero."

"No, Quatre! Get him on the phone! Qua--"

Quatre hung up. He went back to the table. "Well, um, I guess all that's left is to catch Jokers. How many do you think there are?"

"They usually operate in small groups, but trust me, once they start something as big as this," he pointed to the screen, "it takes armies to stop them."

"Again, how many in a group?" Dorothy asked.

"A dozen, maybe a little more."

"Ha! That will be easy."

"Don't hold your breath," Fitz snorted and walked over to his bed where he could stuff what clothes he had into a duffel bag."

Quatre put his hands over his face. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Dorothy patted his arm. "It'll be worth it, Quatre dear, trust me."

"Trust! I hear that word over and over again and still!

"Calm down, would you? Let's just go with the flow."

"The last time I've seen you so mellow, the war was at its climax."

She laughed. "Don't get any ideas. I'm just fine... fine, fine, fine!"

Fitz looked behind him at the two Earthlings. "Weirdoes," he muttered and paused. "I wonder how Ellis is..."

Ellis looked away, knowing she couldn't look Wufei in the face. After all, they had just impulsively done the most strictly forbidden thing that she could think of. It. She nervously kept her gaze on the floor while she scooted further from Wufei on the bed. "Oh no."

Wufei pulled on his pants, a million thoughts racing through his head. Of all the dishonorable things he had ever done in his life, this one topped them all. How could he, a keeper of justice and honor, have let go of self-control so easily? How could he be forgiven for what they had just done?

"Nataku... I didn't mean to betray you," he whispered. When Meiran, or 'Nataku', had died, Wufei had sworn the rest of his life to justice and honor and no other wife than her. He deserved to be punished. He deserved to be dead. In his own eyes, he had fallen.

"Um," Ellis began. "Why don't we forget this whole thing ever happened? It's not like we intentionally... meant to..."

"I should kill myself for being unfaithful to my wife," Wufei said solemnly.

"You would kill yourself?" She asked, noting that he was deeply serious.

"To dishonor Nataku like this..." he trailed off. He closed his eyes and sighed. Ellis dressed and stood up.

"Don't do anything stupid like that. It's like I said before. We'll just forget this ever happened. "It won't happen again. It can't." She doubted herself.

Later in the day, Trowa arrived at the Sanc Kingdom with Zechs and Noin. He excused himself from the couple and left with the imperial guards to oversee the matter of the wedding guests and any relations thereof.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he noted. The wedding guests were all in association with the Sanc Kingdom. There were no current disputes between any of the guests and the rest of the world. The Jokers seemed to be picking targets at random.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you might want to listen to the news," an officer said at the doorway and turned on the television. Trowa swiveled around in the chair and watched the report on vandalism appearing all over America. All the messages were the same.

"Jokers Take All. Click Your Ruby Red Heels and Go Home. Lost Links of Life are Lost Links to Death."

"Ruby red heels," he thought. "That seems familiar."

"Of course!" he said aloud. Ruby red heels were the ruby slippers that the character Dorothy wore in the movie The Wizard of Oz. If he remembered correctly, the same shoes were kept at the Smithsonian in America. "...And the Smithsonian is in Washington D.C. That's the nation's capitol. What are they going to do there?"

He went to a phone and dialed up the number to the embassy.

"Yes, I'd like to speak to Heero Yuy."

"I'm sorry. He can't be found right now. May I take a message?"

"Tell him that Trowa Barton called. It's urgent."

"Yes, sir."

Trowa hung up and leaned back in his chair. "I hope that it is what I suspect. What if it means something else? Maybe it means Dorothy Catalonia has something to do with this because her name... no. That wouldn't make sense with what we know from Ace. Perhaps it has something to do with other characters like the Wizard or that Good Witch... or the Scarecrow and the rest of those companions."

He stood up and looked out the window. The world looked so calm from that view. But he knew the truth. It was going to get really ugly unless they could stop it.

Heero walked down the hall of the embassy carrying a few folders under his arm. He would call the hotel later and tell Ace about Quatre's call. A woman in a blue uniform stopped him in the hall.

"There was a call for you, Mr. Yuy, from Trowa Barton."

"Trowa?" Heero frowned. "I wonder if he found something," he thought. Aloud, he said, "I will call him back imme-"

He paused and noticed a familiar man walking down the hall. "It's that guy from last night," Heero thought. He stepped away from the woman and went to greet him.

"Greetings, monsieur," Heero bowed. "May I help you?"

Duo tried to keep a straight face. "Yes, my name is Jean Dunois. I'm looking for Miss Peacecraft."

Heero eyed him suspiciously. He was unable to identify the strange jealousy creeping around in his mind. Why should he care who Relena dates? "I can take you to her right now."

"Thank you," Duo said, a little relieved. For a moment, there was a glint in the Prussian blue eyes that made Duo believe that Heero was going to kill him. Heero led him down the hall, putting aside his call to Trowa and subtly studying 'Jean'.

"Are you a friend of Miss Peacecraft?" he asked for some reason he didn't know.

"Is that any of your business?" Duo shot back. Hopefully, he could provoke Heero before they reached her.

"I'm her bodyguard."

"Then, why aren't you with her?"

"Now, that, I believe, is none of your business," Heero said dryly. He didn't want to admit the truth. He wasn't near Relena because for some odd reason, he found it difficult to face her-especially after last night. "So, back to the original question: are you... an associate of hers?"

"Her date, actually." Duo watched Heero carefully, waiting for him to pull out his gun and jam it in his mouth or something. It was the only thing the Duo could think of. Heero was going to kill Duo when this was all over. But at least Relena would have Heero then. "Don't tell me you don't notice her beauty. With a body like hers, oh boy!"

"...Excuse ...me?" Heero said as he gritted his teeth. He silently scolded himself for showing physical signs of discomfort. He tried not to, but it made him want to wring Jean's neck.

"Oh, don't give me that act!" Duo patted him on the shoulder and immediately withdrew. The same vision of Heero killing him popped into his head again. He steadied himself and continued. "If you were going out with her, would you go out with her personality? All the women these days, they are... how you say, no longer housewives. They work, too. They go to college, get high office. What happened to the days when a woman was for her beauty, huh?" He nudged Heero with his elbow. "Who cares about her mind?"

"It isn't any of my business," Heero reminded himself. But he couldn't just stand there. They stopped in the hall, a few more meters from the room Relena was in. "A date, sir?"

"Well, it has been what I have been talking about for the last five minutes, yes!" Duo tried to look annoyed instead of frightened.

"Due to a recent bomb attempt, none of the representatives at this embassy are allowed out on... dates."

"Is that a fact?"

Heero glared at him.

"I still wish to see her," Duo persisted. He thought, "Oh, man. Here it comes. One order of Dead Duo coming right up!"

Surprisingly, Heero resumed their walk, making his movements stiff. He showed 'Jean' into Relena's temporary office and stayed at the door. Relena looked up from her desk.

"Oh, D-" Relena stopped herself before she said Duo's name. "D-dunois! What a surprise! I mean, not a surprise. We had a date... right?" She smiled weakly.

"Yes, but your bodyguard has informed me of the tight security measures they are taking to ensure your safety, my dear." Duo could have sworn he saw Heero flinch at the last two words. "It is alright. After this whole disaster is behind us, we can enjoy the sights of Paris."

"If I am here in Paris that long," Relena added. She glanced at Heero, who stood like a stone sentinel at the door. He didn't betray any emotions with his expression as far as she could tell. "Since I'm not permitted to leave the embassy, perhaps we can take a, uh, walk in the garden? The flowers are all blooming now."

"I would be delighted to," Duo replied with a courtly bow. He offered her his arm. Relena accepted it and turned away from Heero. She was deeply embarrassed that Heero had to see this. The Japanese Gundam Pilot remained unmoved from his spot by the door. As Duo and Relena exited, Duo winked at Heero.

"Don't wait up," he whispered to the statue-like bodyguard. The corner of Heero's mouth twitched as they strolled down the hall heading toward the garden.

"He's a regular womanizer," Heero thought. "I can't leave her alone with that man. He'll turn her into a living wreck when he's done with her." Then he paused. "But isn't her own fault? No. Relena is a very intelligent and thoughtful person. She wouldn't let Dunois just..."

He glanced around himself. No one was around. He quickly walked down the hall, trying to keep his strides calm and even. Every now and then, he glanced out the window at the garden path. He tried to reason with his conscience that he wasn't going to spy. He was her bodyguard, after all. It was his job to assure her safety.

"That Dunois guy isn't... right," he said simply.

Outside, Duo was unsure of the plan. They hid behind a tree and began whispering to each other. "So, um, you remember the plan, right?"

"You try to take advantage of me and Heero kicks your butt, right?"

"Well, there has to be dialogue."

"Dialogue?"

"I wanted to change the part where he kicks my butt. I don't want to die. Seriously." Duo nervously laughed. "So, I was thinking, right before his fist hits my jaw, that you could cut in and defend me?"

"What?" She stared at him.

"Yeah! Heero most likely will accuse me of trying to make you do something you don't want to do. Then you say that I'm not bothering you at all... yeah! That's it! Then he'll have to say something to come between us!"

"Like what? He'll probably just leave. You know Heero."

"Well, I'll say something! I know I can think of something."

Relena leaned against the tree and played with a leaf. "Maybe we shouldn't do this. Sneaking behind his back and making these plans. He'll hate me."

"Heero doesn't have to know that we did this. What he doesn't know can't hurt him."

"Yeah, but what he does know can hurt us. Maybe even kill. I don't know. Having a gun held to my head is kind of normal to me now. I wouldn't mind," Relena sarcastically replied. "Oh, what am I saying? Heero wouldn't shoot me." She looked at Duo apologetically.

"Yeah, not you. But he wouldn't have any problem killing Shinigami! Man! This sucks."

"Don't forget to lower your voice now, unless you want Heero to recognize your voice and know you're Jean Dunois."

"Of course not! I'm actually kind of surprised that he didn't recognize me earlier."

Heero couldn't see them when he entered the garden. He stuck near the tall hedges that bordered the garden. There were three trees that made a triangle around a tiny fountain and the flowers surrounding it.

"They have to be taking a look at the roses," he thought. The roses grew high and often grew thick so that they were walls and made the garden into a maze. He slipped around a small bush and a wall of roses so that he could see the fountain and two of the trees. Then he stopped to listen. The birds were chirping, as always, and the wind made the leaves of the trees rustle.

Then, voices. Heero could hear voices from behind one of the trees. He moved forward, crouching down a little to remain out of sight. He listened intently and recognized both the speakers.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this." That was Relena's voice. Heero frowned. "Sneaking behind his back and making these plans. He'll hate me."

"Heero doesn't have to know that we did this. What he doesn't know can't hurt him."

That was Duo's voice. "No," Heero thought. "It can't be. What would Duo be doing here? No. It isn't him. It's just a figment of my imagination." He took back that last sentence. He didn't have an imagination.

"... Lower your voice now, unless you want Heero to recognize your voice and know you're Jean Dunois..."

"... Of course not!"

Heero blinked, not believing what he had just heard. He ducked behind another hedge of roses as the two conspirators came from behind the tree.

"So," he thought. "Duo and Relena are seeing each other behind my back because they're worried they might upset me. Duo even cut half of his hair off for the disguise." Despite the angry and jealous feelings rising within him, Heero remained calm and reasonable. "Why should I mind? They don't have to sneak around me. I can tell them right now so they can stop this whole charade." Even with his calmness, he couldn't help but remember what Duo had said to him about not caring for Relena's personality. Heero fought down the urge to do something he would regret later and just take it slowly. He stood up. Relena and Duo spun around in surprise.

"Heero!" they both exclaimed.

"Hello, Relena...Duo. I understand now why you two have been acting so weird."

Duo gulped. "Uh, I am not Duo! I have no idea of what you are talking about! I'm just trying to score, here!"

"You can drop the act. I don't know why you both feel you have to sneak around behind my back. I don't care if you want to date Relena, Duo. Go ahead. Just drop the French." He bowed slightly to Relena. "And now that I know that Dunois is Duo, I should have no concern, as your bodyguard, for your safety. I'll go inside now."

Duo gaped at the pilot of Wing Zero. He turned to Relena. Then he called to Heero. "Buddy! This isn't what you think! Relena and I aren't-"

"Don't! Duo, it's okay!" Heero called back as he opened the door and went back inside.

Relena had not moved one inch since she had cried out "Heero!" She now trembled a bit and looked at Duo reproachfully. "And... and now he thinks... oh no..."

Duo slapped his forehead. "Oh now we've done it. Hey, I'll go after him and tell him everything!"

"If you do that, he'll hate me!" she cried. "Oh... I deserve it. Go ahead. Tell him."

"Don't say that! I was the one who suggested this whole thing, remember?"

"Uh-huh. But we should share equal blame. I shouldn't have agreed to it. I feel terrible," Relena sighed.

Duo took off his fake mustache and went over to the fountain. He cupped his hands to hold water and dumped it over his head as he bent over. The temporary dye he used to make his hair really dark brown dripped onto the dirt. "There's no use for this disguise anymore. And the clothes! Ugh! I'm glad I don't have to wear them anymore!"

"You shouldn't have cut your hair."

"Well, I didn't cut the whole braid off. It'll grow back in a month or two, no problem." Duo looked over at the door. "I should go catch up with Heero and sort this all out. Go back to your office and relax."

"Easy for you to say. Your love life isn't going to be affected by this."

Duo felt around in his pocket. He still had the scrap of paper with Paulette's number on it. "Well, it kind of is. Dunois will have to stick around if I want to see that beautiful Paulette anymore."

"Who?"

He grinned. "I'll tell later." He ran out the garden and inside the embassy again. Relena sighed and walked dejectedly into the building and toward her room.

"So, it's just the two of them?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure they can handle it?"

"No."

"Then, why did you let them go?"

"She was confident."

"So?"

"She's... good at what she does."

"We all know that, but you should have consulted someone."

"I am the Jack of Spades, Five. I don't have to consult anyone."

"Sorry, Boss-man, er... I mean, Majesty. But you just look so tense."

"How else would I look? If the Jokers do something terrible on Earth, it might spell disaster for all of us! But at the same time, if I withdraw them, they'll feel like they have failed. They want to do this on their own so badly. Well, at least she does."

"As always."

Gerald sat and sullenly thought of his sister and his friend. They should have reported in by then. Something must have happened to them. "I shouldn't have let them go without back up. Argh! Why do I always trust Ellis with such big things like this?"

"She's never let you down before, Majesty," a girl said on the communication screen before him. "She is the Ace, Majesty. She's supposed to be able to work through stuff like this. Pardon all my informality in this conversation, but your sister is a fine fighter and will probably succeed in her mission. As for that oaf of man, Ten! Well-"

"Yes, yes, Five, I know what you think of Ten. Are you and Six near the sector yet?"

"We're making good time, Majesty. Are you heading back to get the King?"

"Yes. It's very important that I go to my father and tell him of Earth."

Five sat back in her chair and tapped her chin. She had short black hair cut like a boy's and close to the scalp. Her skin was pale and her lips dark and full. Her eyes were very unique. They were almost black, not brown, but when she looked at you, she pierced through all your defenses with those eyes. It was almost scary sometimes. But most often, Five was a laid back person and the most informal and wild of all the high officers of the House of Spades.

"Are there any traces of the Jokers left in the sector surrounding Earth or have all the clowns landed on Earth?" Five asked with a yawn.

"Landed, I believe," Gerald frowned. "You do have command of the fleet from the Newdari sector, right?"

She laughed loudly and folded her arms. "If you're wondering if Six and I intended to assist Ace and Ten just by ourselves, you'll be glad to know that yes, we do have that Newdarian fleet and we won't face those clown-boys alone."

"Good, good. Is there anything else that you must know about the present situation?"

"Yeah, actually, Majesty, there is. Are there any other ships around from the other Houses? I'm damned sure they would want a piece of the action or try to get credit for our discovery of Earth." Her expression suddenly became a whole lot colder. Her eyes did that piercing stare that Gerald disliked so much. He fidgeted around in his seat uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

"If there are, they must be cloaked. I don't think anyone else is out here," Gerald replied, pinching the bridge of his nose in exhaustion. "I must take my leave now. I'm very tired and I must make the voyage home as quickly as possible. Good luck on your mission."

"Thank you, Majesty! You have a good night's sleep!" Five said with a grin and her piercing personality disappeared as if it never existed.

Gerald sighed and got up from his chair, trudging away from the communications screen. An officer standing like a sentinel by the door saluted him as he walked past. "Is there anything His Highness would need for the rest of the night?"

"No, no. I'm going straight to bed. I don't want to hear any more business. So much of this 'adventure' and 'expedition' has gone too completely dependent on our people on Earth right now." He let out a deep breath and stretched. "I have a feeling that sister of mine is gonna end up with more than she bargained for."

He froze in his steps and turned around, striding back into the room and back to the communications screen. He entered a command and called to Five again.

"Yes sir?" the girl said with a raised eyebrow.

"Regarding Ace and Ten on Earth..." he began. "Whatever the circumstances, don't reveal yourselves to them. I want them to deal with all of their problems on their own."

"That's going to be mighty difficult, considering that we're bringing a whole fleet along with us," Five replied snidely.

"My sister and Ten need to learn how hard their stations are. The Ace has to be the best. She has to beat the Jokers on her own." He paused. "They both know how. They're just not thinking straight."

"But..." her face scrunched up in confusion. "Isn't it more important to get the Jokers while we can than it is to let Ace and Ten overcome this... challenge?"

"Yes."

"Then...why?"

"I'm tired, Five. Good night."

"But-"

He suddenly smiled in satisfaction and turned the screen off. Then he got up from his chair and walked out of the room with a little whistling tune on his lips. His sister was going to do just fine. With what he had just done, she should actually be grateful for the opportunity to test her skills and maybe cultivate new skills.

"Yes, and the Jokers won't cut our Lost Links of Life from us."

Previews of Chapter Six:

Fitz: Hey, Fitz here again to tell ya about the next chapter of Chained! Well, well, well, so Duo and Relena finally got caught. How is Heero gonna take it? He might leave the country, ya say? Concentrate on those stupid clown boys, those Jokers? Hmm... and Trowa! Trowa, you smart man, going to investigate another clue as to what the Jokers are planning for Earth! Now I knew that one of those Earthlings had to have brains. Well, it's off to the U. S. of A. for me, Dorothy, and Quatre, although I must say that flying third class sucks. At least I am doing my job! Why hasn't Ellis done anything yet, or is she too busy fooling around with Wufei? Women! Ah! The Jokers strike again in Asia! See ya there!